Catlike People
by GrandHaberdasher
Summary: Naruto is a dunce. Sakura is a weakling. Lee is a freak of nature incapable of ninjutsu. They are not going to let that stop them from becoming a splendid ninja team.


Uchiha Sasuke was a perfect fusion of natural talent and single-minded drive, and so it happened that he learned what Konoha's Academy could teach him and graduated a year younger than most. Rock Lee was physically incapable of performing ninjutsu or genjutsu and had no particular talent for taijutsu, and so it happened that he struggled with basic tasks in Konoha's Academy and graduated a year older than most. Still, he had graduated in the end, despite what _some_ people had said, and now he was going to meet his new jonin teacher for the first time. He knew his teammates must be just as excited as he was.

 _Yes!_ thought Lee. _I'm finally a real ninja, and I even have Sakura on my team! Can this get any better?_

 _Yes!_ thought Naruto. _I'm finally a real ninja, and I even have Sakura on my team! Can this get any better?_

 _Nooo,_ thought Sakura. _I'm finally a real ninja, and not only am I not on Ino's team, I'm stuck with two hyperactive weirdos. Can this get any worse?_

Right then, the trio was distracted from these thoughts by Might Guy's entrance. Leaping into the room, he proclaimed, "Oh what a joyous sight this is! Before me I behold Konoha's freshest ninjas, ready to test themselves against the greatest trial of their brief careers! Ready to prove themselves worthy of carrying out the noble tasks with which their beloved village is entrusted! Ready to show their youuuuuuuuuuuth!"

Might Guy had a very distracting presence.

Unfazed by, or perhaps unaware of, the baffled stares of every genin in the room, Guy gestured his new students to follow him, taking them to one of Konoha's many wooded training areas.

Sakura was the first one to work through what the strange yelling man had actually said. "Sir, you said something about a trial and proving ourselves worthy? We already graduated from the Academy. I thought that proved us worthy."

"It is a grand step on your journey to excellence, but it is not the only one," Guy said. "Now the jonin will test you personally, to separate out those who require more training from the mighty third who are already prepared to represent Konoha to the world! Your test is simple. You must strike me down in battle!"

That day, Team 7 was granted a thorough lesson in the difference between "simple" and "easy." Fighting Guy was like trying to land a solid hit on the wind, if the wind had a dorky haircut and kept giving you encouraging thumbs-ups.

Sakura would probably have dropped out before the others even if said others weren't such manic balls of stubbornness. She took to sustained, strenuous exercise about as well as a mole took to acrobatics, and in any case it had quickly become clear her hand-to-hand combat abilities weren't going to be enough to land a hit on Guy unless he was beset by a fit of narcolepsy. "Looks like this is as far as I go," she said, collapsing to a sit. "Good luck! I'm sure you'll both pass!" _Not likely, but it'd get them out of my hair_ , added Inner Sakura.

"Not so!" said Guy. "A ninja's fate is shared with their comrades. If you forfeit, your teammates may not continue."

Two boys whose most cherished dreams rested on becoming splendid shinobi turned their gaze on Sakura. She did not consider it entirely fair, or for that matter possible, that they should look so much like big-eyed puppies at that moment.

"Fine then." Sakura lurched to her feet. "Together."

"Together!" cried Naruto and Lee in unison as they turned their attention back to attempted assault upon their new teacher.

"Oh what a magnificent thing it is to see the bonds forged in youth!" Guy called out, his teary, heavenward gaze somehow not affecting his ability to avoid every strike his students threw at him.

As the test continued, the gap in ability between master and students lengthened. Weariness slowed the genins' steps, weakened their strikes, and dulled their minds, while Guy grew ever more energetic. With every failed attack, every effortless dodge, it became more clear that this was not a fight they could win. If ever there was a chance at victory, that chance was long gone. The difference between freshly minted recruits and a seasoned veteran was simply too vast.

Yet they continued, for surrender was unthinkable.

The final blows were more akin to leaning with fist outstretched than any sort of actual punch, but one would never have known from the enthusiasm of Guy's embrace after he let them land.

"Such determination!" Guy wept. "Such drive! I'm so proud of you, my new students!"

"You're joking," said Inner Sakura. Out loud. Exhaustion was murder on Sakura's customary filter. "You can't possibly be serious."

"Of course he's serious!" crowed Naruto. "We're awesome! Suck it, everyone else!"

"No, come on, this is ridiculous," said Sakura. "You're the class dunce and took I don't remember how many tries just to pass the Academy exams. I've lost fights to _Shikamaru_ , who I'm pretty sure is part sloth. Lee, I don't know how he even got this far since last I checked the exit exam required you to actually be able to do ninjutsu."

"It does not," said Lee, quietly but firmly. "Nor does it require sight or hearing or arms or legs. Gamushara Ichi was blind when he became a genin. The First Hokage ruled that he could become a ninja as long as he passed the tests that did not strictly require vision. So I was given an exit exam that did not include any tests of ninjutsu or genjutsu, and I succeeded." After a moment, he added, "Barely," in a fit of candor.

Sakura dissolved into helpless, hysterical laughter. "You see! You see! A dunce, a weakling, and a chakra-less freak, cream of the crop!"

"You think it is shameful to have weaknesses?" said Guy. "Nonsense! Knowing your bad points lets your good points shine even brighter! And what you call weaknesses can be turned into strengths! A disruptive person is energetic! A timid person is prudent! A stubborn person is sincere!"

"Ooh! Ooh! What about a selfish person?" asked Naruto.

"Catlike!" said Guy.

"A stupid person?"

"Confident!"

"A short person?"

"Catlike!"

"Hey, no fair, you already used that one!"

It was not the most auspicious beginning a genin team ever had. But an inauspicious team is tenacious.


End file.
